Yes, And: Validation, Empathy, and the Power of Better Conversations

If you're watching this or listening to it,
I'm really glad you're here
and in a way, you're kind of my first guest.
I wanted to start with a simple idea that
is quietly shaped how I see conversations,
conflict, and even growth.
To me, yes, and starts with
acknowledgement.
It means recognizing that people go through
hard things,
real things, painful things, and
that the way you experience those things,
the way you see them, the way they live
inside you,
that is your reality.
In discussions or disagreements or when we
experience something difficult,
people often respond with but
think about a time when someone responded
to something you said like this.
That's true, but
or how about
you did a great job, but
or even someone trying to help.
That was hard,
but you should be grateful.
How did you feel when they said? But
even when it's well-intentioned, that word
can feel jarring.
It can feel like what came before didn't
really count.
We sometimes call that the butt sweep.
It sweeps away the things that were said
before that
and it can be very invalidating.
Yes, and does something different.
Yes, and says your experience counts.
Yes, that was difficult.
Yes, that shaped you.
Yes, your perspective is valid and true to you.
And there may still be another chapter ahead,
and
there might be hope for what comes next,
and there may be something you can build
from here.
And your story isn't over yet.
Yes, and begins with validation.
It recognizes that people experience real
hardship
and that their perspective is not something
to debate away.
It is their reality.
Only after that acknowledgement do we look
forward,
not to minimize the past,
but to ask what might be possible next.
We build on that principle, also borrowing
from improv comedy.
I still vividly remember watching Whose
Line Is It Anyway
and being amazed at the skill the comedians
to keep the story going
playoff each other, keep it so smooth and
natural and hilarious.
One of the core rules of improv comedy is
that you can never say no.
Saying no shuts the story down, doesn't
allow for the creativity to continue
flowing.
Saying no is usually about fear, fear of
looking dumb, fear of losing control.
Saying yes keeps it alive and allows it to
evolve.
So the idea is that you have to say yes to
whatever wild, unexpected things show up
and then add to it, build on it.
That's how creativity, connection, and even
joy show up in the middle of chaos.
In a lot of ways, life feels like improv.
We don't get a script.
We don't get a plan.
All the plot twists or veto the unexpected
returns.
Pain or conflict in real life elicits a
response from us.
We will experience real emotions.
And then what next?
Do we respond with fear, keeping us stuck
in an endless loop of wallowing and pain?
Or can we flip that response,
acknowledge how we feel, and choose
something different?
Yes, and becomes a way to validate the
emotions of your story and move forward
instead of staying in our pain or suffering
or struggle.
An idea that has been more widely discussed
and popularized in recent years is the
concept of validating someone's
perspective.
Initially, I felt unsure how to validate
someone when I didn't necessarily agree
with them or I saw things differently.
I've learned this most pointingly with my
sweet wife.
She's had to remind me countless times that
although I'm a lawyer, I shouldn't cross
examine her in a disagreement
and we've had hard conversations in the past.
My training kicks in and I I look to attack
either side, point out the flaws and
fallacies to that position, and prove I'm right.
In those moments I felt frustration, like I
just need to get my point across and she
would see how right I really was.
I'll let you guess how far that got me.
Validating someone and being a peacemaker
doesn't mean avoiding disagreement, going
along to get along, or giving up.
What you believe
is about being curious instead of being
judgmental,
listening before responding,
helping people feel heard before offering
your own perspective.
You can also disagree without being
disagreeable.
In fact, the most meaningful conversations
often begin there.
We acknowledge that someone else has a
different perspective,
validate that they do actually feel the way
they do,
and see it the way they see it.
We unlock the possibility to provide our
own unique perspective.
Thankfully, my wife has patient with me
as I keep working to communicate more
effectively.
As I made the shift, actively listening for
understanding, trying to validate her
perspective and emotions, my eyes were
opened,
her responses made more sense, her
perspective was more clear to me,
and I've been able to at times effectively
communicate my perspective as well.
When I've reflected on my values of having
courage and kindness, being a peacemaker,
my understanding of validation has evolved.
I think the world could use more of that
right now.
Less division, less shouting past each
other and nameless, faceless online
fighting.
More curiosity, kindness, and empathy.
And empathy requires effort,
requires caring enough
to ask where someone came from, which
shaped them, what they've carried.
Only then can real connection happen.
That's a big part of what this podcast is about.
This podcast isn't designed to fix people,
argue sides or pretend that life is easy
is instead trying to createspace,
offer perspective
and invite growth.
So why am I doing this?
To inspire others to transcend their trials
and build their best life.
And why me?
I love talking to people,
I love learning from them.
I'm an external processor so conversations
is part of how I learn.
I've wanted to start a podcast for a couple
of years, but I've always had reasons not to.
Not enough time, not enough expertise, not
the perfect setup.
As this year came to a close and I started
thinking about what I wanted next,
this idea kept coming back.
And eventually I just asked myself, why not me?
Why not now?
So I decided to start
imperfectly, willing to learn as I go.
My goal with this podcast is to have fun.
To nerd out on Disney
movies, fantasy novels,
discuss meaningful ideas, and to bring
something hopeful
and uplifting into the world.
And
I also wanted to be practical.
Feeling inspired in the moment is great.
I also want this to lead to lasting change
and action.
We'll talk about life,
leadership,
parenting, relationships, and navigating
hard seasons.
Often, we'll do that through stories.
Movies, shows and places like Disney aren't
just escapism.
Great storytelling has always carried
meaning.
Stories help us see things we couldn't see
before.
They teach lessons, shift perspective,
and let us pull out what resonates
personally based on our own experiences.
What one person takes from a story might be
completely different from what someone else sees.
That's
kind of the point.
This podcast is for a lot of people.
Parents who are trying to juggle work and home.
For those going through divorce, recovering
from it, or just trying to raise kids in a
complicated world.
For anyone who has been through dark or
heavy seasons and could use a little hope,
Disney lovers,
movie aficionados,
Brandon Sanderson fans,
if that's you,
I want you to hear this.
It's OK to feel what you felt.
It's important to acknowledge that it was hard.
You don't have to minimize your trials to
move forward. At
the same time,
you don't have to stay stuck there.
You can honor what you've been through
and still choose to look for joy,
growth,
and hope for the future.
Both
can exist together,
and that's the invitation
of yes and land.
So here's my promise to you.
This is a journey we're taking together.
We're all imperfect people.
We all experience struggle,
and you are not alone.
We're going to learn together, support each other,
explore ideas, pull lessons from stories,
and look for ways to bring more kindness,
connection,
and joy into our own lives
and the lives of the people around us.
If that sounds like something you need
right now,
I'd love for you to stay.
Welcome
to Yes Adlin.