Encanto and Losing Everything | James Alvarez on Finding Purpose

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I remember that moment when really my life change

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was just a regular Tuesday, like today. And I

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remember something's missing, but you don't know

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what it is, but you just go throughout your day.

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And that's how I felt that day. When we found

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out that it was going to be a girl, we knew she

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was going to be the princess of both households.

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We lost it. I was like, I can't believe I'm going

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to be a daddy's girl, right? Seeing her in those

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tubes fighting for her life really destroyed

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me. But it was the strength that I needed. I

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saw her in that bed as she's progressing in a

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positive way. And I'm like, this little girl

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is fighting for her life to be here. I need to

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do the same. I need to fight to be here for her.

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I wanted to be a father. This is my time to shine.

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And I think that's why I resonate more with Casita

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because I always felt this energy. And I don't

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know if it's her present, my late wife present,

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always guiding me. When I notice like butterflies

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or a hummingbird, you know, and I always be like,

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that's her. That's her checking in on us. I could

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get through this. Yeah. She has my back. Welcome

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to Yes And Land. where we say yes to the reality

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of yesterday and today, and we say and to the

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possibility, growth, and imagination of tomorrow.

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All right, welcome to another episode of Yes

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and Land. We are very excited today because we

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are talking with somebody who has a very inspiring

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story of overcoming grief and loss. And there's

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also, of course, as we always do, there's a Disney

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tie -in, but a real -life Disney tie -in for

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James and for the things he's experienced with

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his family. He's a real inspiration to many,

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many people. He's got quite the following online

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because so many people connect with this story

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that we can all relate to. We all have loss and

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grief that we experience in our lives. And the

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strength that James has showed is he's overcome

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the loss that he'll talk about more in detail

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today. Again, it's very inspiring. So, James,

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welcome to the program. Thank you. Thank you

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for having me. Looking forward to. Telling my

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story and sharing with your audience. Yeah. And

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I can already tell, right? We can already see

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the Disney -ness with you because you've got

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your snow white shirt on. You're repping today.

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So appreciate that. And looks like a beautiful,

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beautiful place that you're there too. You're

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in California, right? Absolutely. Not so far

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away from Disneyland. How long of a drive? How

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long of a drive to get to Disneyland for you?

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I would say, depending on LA traffic, I reside

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in L .A. Depending on L .A. traffic, it could

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take from 40 minutes to even up to two hours.

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But it has never stopped me from going. You've

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got to go at the right time, right? A lot of

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times when we go to Disneyland, we'll fly into

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LAX. So we've got to have that commute over.

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We try to make sure we avoid that happening during

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rush hour in the morning or the afternoon. Because

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otherwise, it can end up being those two hours.

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And that's the last thing you want, right? Get

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to Disneyland faster. Yeah, it's dreadful. But

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you know what? Once you're there, once you're

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at the park, you forget about all your worries

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and you kind of enjoy it and a little escape

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from reality. Right. So it's beautiful. You know,

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that's what I love about Disney. You know, it

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just it gives me the opportunity to kind of escape

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from all the troubles, all the stress, you know,

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all my feelings, you know, even if I'm down or.

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and just kind of leave that behind and just be

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able to enjoy the moment. But most importantly

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now, having children, enjoying the moment with

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them. It's this nostalgia that always brings

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you back to living your childhood memories, right?

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For sure. And then you kind of reminisce those

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beautiful memories. And now that you have children,

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Now it's your job to do the same for them, right?

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Now it's your opportunity to kind of embed those

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beautiful memories in them. So to me, it's so

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special because it's like I'm reliving it again.

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Because it's like I'm reliving it through them.

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And I love that. So it's just like, man, you

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know, like. This is where I this is what I used

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to this is my first ride or this is where I used

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to get my favorite churro. And then just, you

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know, telling the kids and then the kids get

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excited and then they're excited, too. They're

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like, oh, my gosh, can't wait to have a churro

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or, you know, I can't wait to ride the Dumbo

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ride, you know. So those little memories, it's

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it's it's beautiful because I get to relive it

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again. Yeah, for sure. So so what I've heard

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you kind of referencing is kind of this nostalgia

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from childhood. So did you grow up going to Disneyland?

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You know what? I grew up in a Mexican family.

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You know, it's unfortunately, there weren't the

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type of family that had passes and we used to

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go often. You know, it was more of like at least

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once a year, but at least we went a year. Right.

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So we were we were thankful for that. So I remember

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I even have a picture of my first time that I

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went. I was one years old. I remember that. picture

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of myself and that was at that time when thriller

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was going on because i swear i had the little

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michael jackson red latex suit at disney you

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know but that's beautiful you know that that

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they gave me the opportunity to experience it

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and then yeah we would go like every year and

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i remember there was a time that uh they used

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to give out free tickets for your birthday And

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I used to take advantage of that. And I used

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to go out for my birthday. And yes, I pretty

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much grew up with Disney, watching their cartoons.

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I wanted to be an animator. You wanted to be

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an animator. Yeah, so I actually wanted to be

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an animator. So I used to watch, I used to grow

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up, you know, like wake up every morning and

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watch Disney cartoons. I mean, you're talking,

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I'm not talking about. uh mickey's clubhouse

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i'm talking about the original steamboat willie

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uh you know uh mickey's the silly symphony you

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were watching the old ones yes i like the throwbacks

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like the originals like that hand that hand -drawn

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uh original selves you know like i watched that

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and i grew up watching that and i always wanted

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to be an animator because those cartoons made

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me so happy that for me it was like i want to

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bring that happiness to a kid i want to be able

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to to uh give that that feeling that i had when

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watching these cartoons to a kid in my generation

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so i was like i always want to be an animator

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and i used to i went to school i did all that

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um unfortunately i took a different route you

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know went to the medical uh field uh did you

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what did you study what did you study to go in

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the medical field I'm actually in the ultrasound

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tech. So, yes. Yeah. Ultrasound. Yeah. It's so

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different. But you know what? I love it because

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I love to help. I love to help the community

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as much possible. And for me, it was just helping

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somebody, you know, it means a lot to me. And

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even though I do ultrasound, I still dabble a

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little bit. I still draw. I help the kids with

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their projects. You know, I love, you know, sometimes

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when we go out to dinner and. get a chance i'll

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scribble like a little cartoon uh on the receipt

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uh with my signature on it and kind of you know

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give give the the waitress or the waiter um a

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little uh happen happiness note or picture you

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know so i dabble a little bit here and there

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but yeah i haven't i haven't lost i haven't lost

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the the the touch of of drawing i still love

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it it's still in my head so you um you finished

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high school you go do some schooling you become

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an ultrasound tech when when uh when did you

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end up getting married what did that look like

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and and uh kind of walk us through that yeah

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well that's where i actually met uh my my late

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wife that's where i actually met her in in in

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uh ultrasound school so she was going to ultrasound

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school as well um i was a little bit shy and

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really focused on my uh My schooling. So I was

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really determined to finish school. I wanted

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to, you know, just have something, a degree.

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Right. So I was really focused. I really didn't

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talk to her. I knew she was in classes and I

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see her around school, but I never really get

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a chance to talk to her. I talked to her finally

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when I graduated. She was still going to school.

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I graduated and I messaged her on Facebook. We

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just started hitting it off and started hanging

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out. And next thing led to another. And we decided

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we wanted to take that next step of getting married,

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you know, doing things right. You know, so we

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were dating for two years. We wanted to make

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sure everything was correct in our end, you know,

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before moving in and, you know, having kids and

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stuff like that. So we did it the correct way.

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Like, you know, our parents really loved that.

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We asked for their blessings. They gave it to

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us. We got engaged. We started living together,

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set up for the wedding, and we got married. It

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was a beautiful wedding. So what was her name?

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Her name was Yesenia Aguilar. So Yesenia, so

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you and Yesenia, you meet kind of this at school,

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kind of as you're kind of finishing. You guys

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date is really hitting off. You get engaged.

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Did she have a love for Disney at that time?

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Did she have any Disney ties? Well, yeah. Well,

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the thing was, she lived in Anaheim, so she lived

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very close to to Disney and. She didn't have

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the. The chances that go as often, you know,

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she used to go like here and there, you know,

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when she had family that worked there. But when

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we started dating, she started going to school.

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So she she went to ultrasound school to kind

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of get it, get a degree. But it wasn't her passion.

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Her passion was to do hair, to do cosmetology.

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So I kind of pushed her to do that. So when we

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started dating, I kind of told her, like, you

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know, do follow your dreams, like do what you

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will make you happy. Don't do something that's

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going to pay you bill, pay your bills. You know,

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like if you love what you do, you can still pay

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your bills, too. But if you don't do something

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that you don't love, then it's going to it's

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it's going to kill the joy in life. You know,

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so do something that you love. So she just decided

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to go to back to school. And at that time with

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school, you know, it was hard to find a job that's

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flexible with their school schedule. So I told

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her, hey, I know Disney will work with you and

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will be happy to kind of or be happy to support

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you while you're going to school. So, yeah, she

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applied and she became a cast member. She was

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at she actually worked main gate. So she was

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handling tickets and scanning people in and stuff

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like that. So she. That's her tie in. And for

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me, it was a benefit because I get to go to Disney

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for free. Yeah, it was great. It was it was a

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great. Yeah. So she she became to love Disney

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as much as I did by working there. Yeah, and

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they – I mean I think it's well -documented that

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cast members generally speaking just really,

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really love working for Disney. I watched one

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of the specials. They had done I think originally

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on 2020 and now it's showing on Disney+. And

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they were talking with Josh Gad who of course

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played Olaf and they let him go be the Jungle

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Cruise skipper for a day. And he was just talking

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about how just walking around the park and getting

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exposed to different cast members, how much the

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cast members loved being there, no matter what

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their role was. Right. Like any role that a cast

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member had, that there's just such joy that they're

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bringing to other people and helps them also

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have joy as a cast member. Yeah, it was beautiful.

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It was beautiful to see her work there because,

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you know, she was a very quiet person. And being

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there kind of helped her open up and she made

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a lot of friends. And even after what happened,

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a lot of cast members reached out to me and was

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there for me. And I remember telling me stories

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about their interactions with her. And we'll

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definitely get into that. But it was very beautiful

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to hear. uh, such loving and caring hearts that

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work at Disney. And that's why I believe that

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what makes Disney so magical, you know, when

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you go to Disneyland and it's, it's not all about

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the rides and the food and, and, uh, clothes

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and everything that you go for, but it's the

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people that work there that makes it truly special.

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Yeah. They, they definitely bring it, bring it

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home. They make it more real. It's, uh, yeah,

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it's really something special. So she's working

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there as a cast member, working the main gate.

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When did she stop working? Because I think this

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was right – this was before or right before COVID

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when COVID shut down Disneyland. Is that right?

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Yeah, that was in the – that was pretty much

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it. Yeah, she was furloughed because of COVID.

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That's when it was like they're shutting out

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everything. For the first time, they shut down

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Disneyland, which was crazy to find out. You

00:14:26.450 --> 00:14:29.909
know, that was a big shocker for us because I

00:14:29.909 --> 00:14:32.529
believe the only time they ever closed out before

00:14:32.529 --> 00:14:37.070
was 9 -11. And to hear that they were closing

00:14:37.070 --> 00:14:40.669
down, it was it was a shocker to all of us. And

00:14:40.669 --> 00:14:43.169
then when we found out that, you know, she was

00:14:43.169 --> 00:14:45.850
going to foreload, which kind of was perfect.

00:14:46.090 --> 00:14:48.389
I would say it was perfect timing in a sense,

00:14:48.450 --> 00:14:56.879
because. That was a time when we found that she

00:14:56.879 --> 00:15:00.419
was pregnant. So it was a beautiful time. I would

00:15:00.419 --> 00:15:20.379
say... Sorry, the rigged camera. It's picking

00:15:20.379 --> 00:15:27.679
me up. At that time, we found out. She knew how

00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:31.679
bad I wanted to be a father. I always wanted

00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:35.799
to be a father. We tried. It never really happened.

00:15:36.779 --> 00:15:41.919
I think what changed the most was when we changed

00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:45.980
our mindset. I remember one day we were talking

00:15:45.980 --> 00:15:52.480
about it and after many attempts and you know,

00:15:52.519 --> 00:16:02.960
late, uh, was it, uh, uh, warnings that we thought

00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:05.799
that she was and found out there wasn't, you

00:16:05.799 --> 00:16:10.799
know, so many attempts, I would say. Uh, how

00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:13.639
long, how long did you guys try before you were

00:16:13.639 --> 00:16:18.460
over a year? Um, yeah. Yeah. So over a year,

00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:22.009
uh, we tried, um, And it just wasn't happening.

00:16:22.090 --> 00:16:24.870
So we kind of changed our thoughts. We were just

00:16:24.870 --> 00:16:30.590
like, you know what? Hey, if, you know, we're

00:16:30.590 --> 00:16:32.950
not blessed with a child, as long as we have

00:16:32.950 --> 00:16:34.809
each other, then that's what we need. That's

00:16:34.809 --> 00:16:36.850
all we need. You know, we have our family here.

00:16:37.450 --> 00:16:40.370
If we're not blessed with the kids, then this

00:16:40.370 --> 00:16:43.230
is our family. Just you and me. And then once

00:16:43.230 --> 00:16:47.210
we changed that mentality, man, right away, like,

00:16:47.309 --> 00:16:52.799
I remember. she was late and that she was getting

00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:56.379
like nauseous all the time, but I didn't want

00:16:56.379 --> 00:16:59.580
to like, I was kind of like, maybe she is right.

00:16:59.899 --> 00:17:01.879
And, but I didn't want to say anything because

00:17:01.879 --> 00:17:04.519
yeah, I didn't want to say anything. Cause you

00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:07.880
know, there's many times that I like she was

00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:09.759
late and then I'm like, Oh my gosh, she's pregnant.

00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:13.059
And then she finally was like, Oh no, no, I got

00:17:13.059 --> 00:17:16.359
my period. And I'm like, dang. So then, um, this

00:17:16.359 --> 00:17:19.200
time she was like, I'm late and she was nauseous.

00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:20.910
And I'm like, No, I'm going to wait for her to

00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:23.910
tell me. I don't want to get my whole tie. I'm

00:17:23.910 --> 00:17:25.710
just going to let it be. Right. But it was so

00:17:25.710 --> 00:17:27.730
funny because even my parents noticed it. Like,

00:17:27.730 --> 00:17:29.670
man, she's like got to the restaurant with throw

00:17:29.670 --> 00:17:32.789
up like a couple of times. It was something she

00:17:32.789 --> 00:17:35.930
ate. And I'm like, I don't know. Could be. And

00:17:35.930 --> 00:17:39.309
then I remember one Thursday, I know it was like

00:17:39.309 --> 00:17:43.609
her dad's birthday was coming up and she just

00:17:43.609 --> 00:17:46.779
spontaneously just. told me she's like come to

00:17:46.779 --> 00:17:48.339
the room i need to tell you something i'm like

00:17:48.339 --> 00:17:50.599
okay what's wrong what's wrong and then she shows

00:17:50.599 --> 00:17:53.099
me the slip for the doctor where it said like

00:17:53.099 --> 00:17:57.140
she was pregnant and i started uh crying i started

00:17:57.140 --> 00:18:00.000
bawling i remember i was like i can't believe

00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:03.539
uh this is really happening like i'm actually

00:18:03.539 --> 00:18:05.619
gonna be a father you know like she knew how

00:18:05.619 --> 00:18:08.059
bad i wanted this and What was that emotion?

00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:10.579
Talk me through what that emotion was. So you've

00:18:10.579 --> 00:18:12.000
been wanting to for so long. You didn't want

00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:14.299
to get your hopes up too much. She comes to you

00:18:14.299 --> 00:18:16.180
and you finally know you're a father. What are

00:18:16.180 --> 00:18:17.880
the emotions you're experiencing when that happened?

00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:27.240
It was joy. I feel like it was that emotional

00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:32.240
moment because we tried so hard and I felt like

00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:34.869
we were going to just give up on that. And to

00:18:34.869 --> 00:18:36.970
find out, like, we were blessed to be a father.

00:18:37.509 --> 00:18:39.829
Like, you know, I was kind of already getting

00:18:39.829 --> 00:18:42.329
adjusted that, like, I'll never be a father.

00:18:42.410 --> 00:18:45.990
Like, I just might not never have kids. And to

00:18:45.990 --> 00:18:49.349
find out that we're having one on the way and

00:18:49.349 --> 00:18:58.029
really kind of, it was speech, I couldn't put

00:18:58.029 --> 00:19:01.130
in words, but it was just, it was so emotional

00:19:01.130 --> 00:19:04.349
to find out that, you know. finally god answered

00:19:04.349 --> 00:19:07.529
my prayers and i could finally be that father

00:19:07.529 --> 00:19:09.990
that i always wanted to be and that i could be

00:19:09.990 --> 00:19:14.869
it was truly great grateful feeling yeah and

00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:17.599
And so, I mean, I just I can imagine. Right.

00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:20.779
And I have I have four kids. And so I can I can

00:19:20.779 --> 00:19:23.000
relate in the sense that, like, you know, it's

00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:27.259
it's this joy. It's this relief. It's this anticipation,

00:19:27.660 --> 00:19:30.059
sometimes a little bit of fear because we all

00:19:30.059 --> 00:19:32.500
want to be good parents and being a parent's

00:19:32.500 --> 00:19:34.180
a lot. And so there's a little bit of that. So

00:19:34.180 --> 00:19:36.700
you guys are kind of going through, you know,

00:19:36.700 --> 00:19:39.599
her being pregnant and then, you know, walk us

00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:41.900
through leading up to kind of that that kind

00:19:41.900 --> 00:19:48.289
of fateful day. Yeah. So like you mentioned,

00:19:48.410 --> 00:19:53.329
you know, parenting can be tough. We wanted to

00:19:53.329 --> 00:19:55.910
prepare as much possible. You know, being a first

00:19:55.910 --> 00:19:57.829
time parent, you know, we're the ones that were

00:19:57.829 --> 00:20:00.930
like reading books and listening to what the

00:20:00.930 --> 00:20:03.309
doctor is telling us and just following directions

00:20:03.309 --> 00:20:07.009
and trying to eat healthy and just try to be

00:20:07.009 --> 00:20:10.730
the best parents possibly to welcoming this baby.

00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:14.079
When we found out there was a baby girl, that's

00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:20.680
where I lost it. And her side of the family had

00:20:20.680 --> 00:20:24.799
all boys, all boys. Her older sister had all

00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:29.779
boys. So it was dominated by boys. My side of

00:20:29.779 --> 00:20:32.180
the family, my parents, they didn't have any

00:20:32.180 --> 00:20:35.460
grandkids. This was the first grandkid. So regardless,

00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:38.079
when we found out there was going to be a girl.

00:20:38.460 --> 00:20:40.980
we knew she was going to be the princess of both

00:20:40.980 --> 00:20:44.559
households. Guaranteed. She's going to be the

00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:48.920
one running the show, right? And when we found

00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:52.880
out it was a baby girl, we lost it. I was like,

00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:55.940
I can't believe I'm going to be a daddy's girl,

00:20:56.019 --> 00:20:59.759
right? I'm going to be a girl dad. To me, that

00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:04.039
was a beautiful feeling. Beautiful feeling. So

00:21:04.039 --> 00:21:07.799
we definitely took advantage of making sure that

00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:11.700
Our baby girl was coming into this world with

00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:15.579
the best atmosphere, the best energy, the best

00:21:15.579 --> 00:21:21.779
everything possible. So we took it very heavily.

00:21:21.980 --> 00:21:25.180
So the doctor did tell us, hey, you know, in

00:21:25.180 --> 00:21:29.279
order to have a quick and successful delivery,

00:21:29.619 --> 00:21:32.759
you know, walk, right? Walk. So we started walking

00:21:32.759 --> 00:21:35.799
every single day. At that time, we were living

00:21:35.799 --> 00:21:39.289
in Anaheim. There was a neighborhood because

00:21:39.289 --> 00:21:43.549
we lived in a kind of like a townhouse complex.

00:21:43.930 --> 00:21:47.150
And behind us was like a residential area. So

00:21:47.150 --> 00:21:49.650
we used to walk a lot in that residential area.

00:21:49.769 --> 00:21:51.849
And we always wrote with Feminist. We always

00:21:51.849 --> 00:21:55.730
talk about different topics of our dream home

00:21:55.730 --> 00:21:59.609
and looking at homes and what kind of car we

00:21:59.609 --> 00:22:03.369
should be driving and how to raise our daughter.

00:22:05.049 --> 00:22:07.630
Disney. I mean, we talked about everything and

00:22:07.630 --> 00:22:09.950
we loved that. I believe those were the times

00:22:09.950 --> 00:22:17.029
that we connected more, more deeply. And I remember

00:22:17.029 --> 00:22:20.549
that moment when really my my life change was

00:22:20.549 --> 00:22:25.390
just a regular Tuesday like today. I remember

00:22:25.390 --> 00:22:28.890
at that time was still COVID going on, but I

00:22:28.890 --> 00:22:31.690
worked for a company that worked for the banks.

00:22:31.789 --> 00:22:36.009
So we were allowed to work. at the office. So

00:22:36.009 --> 00:22:38.650
I would go to the office to work. And I remember

00:22:38.650 --> 00:22:42.490
a little off that day. I don't know. It was like

00:22:42.490 --> 00:22:44.410
that something that something's missing, but

00:22:44.410 --> 00:22:47.490
you don't know what it is. But you just go throughout

00:22:47.490 --> 00:22:51.369
your day. And that's how I felt that day. I remember

00:22:51.369 --> 00:23:01.700
my colleagues knew how excited I was. for these

00:23:01.700 --> 00:23:05.420
babies to be born, my baby girl to arrive, that

00:23:05.420 --> 00:23:08.579
they threw a little baby shower thing in my cubicle.

00:23:09.319 --> 00:23:11.920
And they had, I still have a picture of it, like

00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:15.339
all the decorations and gifts and all this stuff

00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:17.759
because they knew how excited I was to be a father.

00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:22.819
But still, I felt a little off that day. I don't

00:23:22.819 --> 00:23:26.140
know what it was. And I would check in, see how

00:23:26.140 --> 00:23:28.869
she's doing, how she's feeling. And I remember

00:23:28.869 --> 00:23:30.450
she was telling me, she's like, I'm doing well.

00:23:30.490 --> 00:23:33.109
I'm doing well. I'm OK. I'm OK. I'm like, OK.

00:23:34.049 --> 00:23:37.410
And I remember driving home and I told her, I

00:23:37.410 --> 00:23:39.990
was like, hey, would you like to go on a walk

00:23:39.990 --> 00:23:42.710
and then maybe have dinner afterwards? Or do

00:23:42.710 --> 00:23:44.289
you want to have dinner and then go walk? Because

00:23:44.289 --> 00:23:46.210
that was our thing, you know, either dinner and

00:23:46.210 --> 00:23:48.910
walk or walk and have dinner. And she's like,

00:23:49.029 --> 00:23:50.869
no, let's go. Let's go walk. Like, I want to

00:23:50.869 --> 00:23:53.670
go look at a store and kind of check out some

00:23:53.670 --> 00:23:56.329
blinds for the baby's room. I'm like, OK, that's

00:23:56.329 --> 00:23:58.700
perfect. So. There's a shopping center right

00:23:58.700 --> 00:24:01.720
by us. We'll go that direction and we'll wrap

00:24:01.720 --> 00:24:04.180
around and end up at the end at the residential

00:24:04.180 --> 00:24:06.160
area and just come home. And she's like, perfect.

00:24:06.380 --> 00:24:08.420
So when I got home, I know she was waiting for

00:24:08.420 --> 00:24:14.559
me at the sofa. And I could tell she wasn't feeling

00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:17.519
well, but she still had the courage to go walking,

00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:21.799
which later I found out from her mom that she

00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:24.000
had really, really bad morning sickness that

00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:27.650
day. And she was not feeling well at all. But,

00:24:27.670 --> 00:24:31.390
yeah, she still had the strength to, like, continue

00:24:31.390 --> 00:24:35.609
our daily routine. And I remember walking a different

00:24:35.609 --> 00:24:39.009
route. And we went to the store. We didn't find

00:24:39.009 --> 00:24:41.349
anything we liked. And we're like, let's just

00:24:41.349 --> 00:24:43.569
walk home. So we cut through the shopping center.

00:24:44.549 --> 00:24:49.289
And we were walking down. If people are familiar

00:24:49.289 --> 00:24:53.730
with the area, we were going eastbound down Cotella.

00:24:54.440 --> 00:24:57.799
really close by to Disneyland. So we're by Cotella

00:24:57.799 --> 00:25:02.339
and Euclid. So we're going eastbound down Cotella.

00:25:03.500 --> 00:25:07.119
We hear a screeching sound of a vehicle, like

00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:11.059
losing control. We both turn around, facing westbound.

00:25:11.900 --> 00:25:14.859
We see this vehicle just lose control and hop

00:25:14.859 --> 00:25:19.160
onto this sidewalk, a sidewalk that we're literally

00:25:19.160 --> 00:25:24.180
standing facing us. As it was going like this,

00:25:24.220 --> 00:25:29.619
moving towards our direction. Where we're standing,

00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:32.380
we're standing in front of like this insurance

00:25:32.380 --> 00:25:37.619
agency office. But in front of us was the shopping

00:25:37.619 --> 00:25:40.099
center. So there was like a Taco Bell. There's

00:25:40.099 --> 00:25:43.940
like a Burger King. There's so many things that

00:25:43.940 --> 00:25:49.480
could have stopped this vehicle from going towards

00:25:49.480 --> 00:25:52.579
us. It didn't hit up. It missed the pool. It

00:25:52.579 --> 00:25:55.619
missed the power box. It missed the Taco Bell

00:25:55.619 --> 00:26:02.440
sign. It missed a brick wall. But yet it was

00:26:02.440 --> 00:26:06.019
so out of control, still going towards us. And

00:26:06.019 --> 00:26:11.279
being a gentleman that I am, I always would stand

00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:16.759
between the street and her. And even being a

00:26:16.759 --> 00:26:19.400
gentleman could not stop what was going to happen.

00:26:19.950 --> 00:26:23.809
this vehicle structure as i was holding her hand

00:26:23.809 --> 00:26:27.970
as we're facing this vehicle and it's crazy because

00:26:27.970 --> 00:26:31.710
people always say it's like your life flashes

00:26:31.710 --> 00:26:35.430
in front of you it really does it flashes in

00:26:35.430 --> 00:26:37.990
front of you and it makes you realize like this

00:26:37.990 --> 00:26:44.509
is your end this is how your story ends and and

00:26:44.509 --> 00:26:46.950
to me was like i can't believe this is this is

00:26:46.950 --> 00:26:50.500
it And I can only imagine what she was thinking.

00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:54.559
Being pregnant at that time, she was 36 weeks

00:26:54.559 --> 00:26:58.180
pregnant with our baby girl. I can only imagine

00:26:58.180 --> 00:27:02.859
her thinking, our baby, our baby girl. And the

00:27:02.859 --> 00:27:04.779
reason I know this is because when it struck

00:27:04.779 --> 00:27:08.559
her, the car kept going. It didn't stop. It kept

00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:12.400
going. The only way this vehicle was stopped

00:27:12.400 --> 00:27:19.460
was by a metal fence across the street. As I'm

00:27:19.460 --> 00:27:25.140
seeing her laying there, motionless, her holding

00:27:25.140 --> 00:27:32.660
her tummy, it was like a nightmare. A nightmare

00:27:32.660 --> 00:27:35.759
that I was waiting to wake up, but I wasn't waking

00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:41.740
up. I didn't know what to do. Reality wasn't,

00:27:41.779 --> 00:27:47.869
like, I couldn't grasp this was reality. Tried

00:27:47.869 --> 00:27:51.309
to resuscitate her. I tried to do what I could,

00:27:51.410 --> 00:27:58.750
what was right. And just seeing her look at me.

00:28:02.009 --> 00:28:10.450
It was hard to see that. It was hard to see someone

00:28:10.450 --> 00:28:13.210
just leaving this earth and couldn't do nothing.

00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:20.859
I didn't even notice people were around me. I

00:28:20.859 --> 00:28:24.880
was just in a daze. I just couldn't believe it.

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:34.420
And I remember calling 911, trying to grasp my

00:28:34.420 --> 00:28:37.220
thoughts, my words, to try to explain what was

00:28:37.220 --> 00:28:41.140
going on, and nothing was coming out. Finally,

00:28:41.140 --> 00:28:44.339
they arrived, and because of COVID, I couldn't

00:28:44.339 --> 00:28:47.880
go with them. I was left there in her remains.

00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:54.839
And not knowing if she was alive, if she was

00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:58.819
passed away, nothing, not knowing anything. And

00:28:58.819 --> 00:29:00.920
I remember like just telling any officer where

00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:02.900
she, I didn't even know what hospital she was

00:29:02.900 --> 00:29:06.240
taken to. Finally, an officer told me that they

00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:10.859
were taken to the UCI Medical Center there in

00:29:10.859 --> 00:29:16.660
Irvine, very close to. to where we lived. And

00:29:16.660 --> 00:29:21.079
I remember finally trying to talk to her parents

00:29:21.079 --> 00:29:23.700
because they lived like around the corner too.

00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:28.740
Trying to like explain what was going on. And

00:29:28.740 --> 00:29:32.740
it was hard. It was hard to explain what was

00:29:32.740 --> 00:29:35.980
going on. Words wasn't coming out. They finally

00:29:35.980 --> 00:29:39.460
arrived to the scene. They kind of put two and

00:29:39.460 --> 00:29:42.359
two together and we finally made it to the hospital.

00:29:43.019 --> 00:29:45.279
I remember right away when we got to the hospital,

00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:50.759
they took us to a room. And I already knew that

00:29:50.759 --> 00:29:53.759
they were going to give us bad news. And that's

00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:58.799
when they told us that she passed away. And she

00:29:58.799 --> 00:30:02.420
wasn't able to make it, that they tried to do

00:30:02.420 --> 00:30:12.430
their best. But she passed away. In this moment,

00:30:12.490 --> 00:30:16.690
you have just had this horrible accident happen

00:30:16.690 --> 00:30:21.769
literally right before you, right in front of

00:30:21.769 --> 00:30:25.329
your eyes, where you think you might also lose

00:30:25.329 --> 00:30:27.470
your life, and it kind of flashes before you,

00:30:27.529 --> 00:30:30.529
and then you unfortunately see her, and it happens

00:30:30.529 --> 00:30:32.910
to her, and she's— I mean, I just can't get my

00:30:32.910 --> 00:30:34.930
image out of my head where you said she's still

00:30:34.930 --> 00:30:37.470
holding her belly as she's sitting there. So

00:30:37.470 --> 00:30:40.759
they take her off. You don't get to go with,

00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:42.599
and then you're arriving and they're giving you

00:30:42.599 --> 00:30:44.519
the bad news. I got to assume that in this moment

00:30:44.519 --> 00:30:46.480
too, you're also assuming that you've lost your

00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:48.900
daughter. You've lost both your wife and your,

00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:53.819
and your daughter. Correct. Yeah. Correct. I

00:30:53.819 --> 00:30:57.619
already knew what they were going to tell me.

00:30:57.660 --> 00:31:00.140
Like, Hey, you know, like it was kind of like

00:31:00.140 --> 00:31:05.359
your daughter, you know, it's you, you assume,

00:31:05.460 --> 00:31:08.200
you know, like she passed away. Obviously, you

00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:10.839
know, she was, in the womb, she's going to pass

00:31:10.839 --> 00:31:13.940
away too. Right. And, um, I was already waiting

00:31:13.940 --> 00:31:16.359
for them to tell me, but when they told me, but,

00:31:16.359 --> 00:31:19.980
but we have great news. I'm like, what, what,

00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:23.220
what good music is coming out of this? Right.

00:31:23.539 --> 00:31:25.359
And then they're like, well, your daughter survived.

00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:28.279
And I'm like, wait, what can, can you repeat

00:31:28.279 --> 00:31:31.440
that again? How did my daughter survive? You're

00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:34.339
telling me that she passed away. Yeah. We were,

00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:38.130
she went with 22. 20 minutes too little to no

00:31:38.130 --> 00:31:43.230
oxygen in her womb. So when we could not save

00:31:43.230 --> 00:31:48.349
your late wife, we had to do an emergency C -section.

00:31:48.849 --> 00:31:55.250
She was unresponsive as well. But with CPR, they

00:31:55.250 --> 00:31:59.170
were able to bring her back. Wow. And she's in

00:31:59.170 --> 00:32:02.430
the NICU at the moment. We're still trying to

00:32:02.430 --> 00:32:07.930
stabilize her. Once she's stabilized, then you

00:32:07.930 --> 00:32:15.190
can see her. So then I'm like... I was in shock.

00:32:15.490 --> 00:32:18.630
You know, I was expecting this bad news. I mean,

00:32:18.670 --> 00:32:22.930
it's just like, what more pain can you give me?

00:32:24.730 --> 00:32:28.789
You know, but then to find out that she's surviving,

00:32:29.069 --> 00:32:33.730
all I was thinking was, I hope she works, that

00:32:33.730 --> 00:32:37.319
she... She fights for her life, right? Now it's

00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:40.519
a critical, she's a critical condition. I hope

00:32:40.519 --> 00:32:42.579
she fights for her life that she wants to be

00:32:42.579 --> 00:32:46.539
there. And I was just, I remember just sitting

00:32:46.539 --> 00:32:50.240
out, her family was coming and they were all

00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.839
grieving. And, you know, it's just, it was really

00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:58.319
tough time. Finally, my parents arrived. I told

00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:00.240
them what happened. They couldn't believe it.

00:33:01.039 --> 00:33:03.279
When I told them that, like, my daughter survived,

00:33:03.420 --> 00:33:05.480
they were shocked. They were like, wait, you

00:33:05.480 --> 00:33:07.380
just told me that she passed away. Like, how

00:33:07.380 --> 00:33:11.640
did they save her? I'm like, I don't know. They

00:33:11.640 --> 00:33:16.720
just did. And I guess it was almost till midnight.

00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:19.240
I remember it was almost midnight when I was

00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:22.579
finally able to see my daughter. And I remember

00:33:22.579 --> 00:33:24.519
telling them, do you want to come and see her?

00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:27.500
But they were so, like, in grief. You know, they

00:33:27.500 --> 00:33:30.500
just weren't in the right state of mind, you

00:33:30.500 --> 00:33:32.200
know, to see her. So I was like, you know what?

00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:35.160
I'm going to take my mom. Just be there to support

00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:42.740
me, you know, mentally. So I go up there and

00:33:42.740 --> 00:33:47.519
seeing her. There's videos on my page, too, that

00:33:47.519 --> 00:33:51.400
you could see what I'm referring to. But she

00:33:51.400 --> 00:33:54.940
was with tubes and everything and breathing apparatus.

00:33:55.660 --> 00:34:00.099
And seeing her in that condition really broke

00:34:00.099 --> 00:34:05.430
me. I mean imagine at that point in time you

00:34:05.430 --> 00:34:09.489
don't know how well she's going to survive even,

00:34:09.590 --> 00:34:12.829
right? You know in 20 minutes without oxygen

00:34:12.829 --> 00:34:16.510
is a long time. And I got to imagine that there's

00:34:16.510 --> 00:34:20.010
also some of that like how is this going to affect

00:34:20.010 --> 00:34:21.829
her? Is she even going to make it? So they've

00:34:21.829 --> 00:34:23.829
got her here now. Is she going to make it? What's

00:34:23.829 --> 00:34:25.750
that going to be like? Is she going to have permanent

00:34:25.750 --> 00:34:28.329
brain damage? I mean I just got to imagine there's

00:34:28.329 --> 00:34:29.969
this whirlwind of emotions you're experiencing

00:34:29.969 --> 00:34:35.610
in that moment. Yeah, it just... I can never

00:34:35.610 --> 00:34:39.929
get that out of my head, just seeing her. It

00:34:39.929 --> 00:34:44.849
really broke me because she was forced into this

00:34:44.849 --> 00:34:47.510
world. It was still not her time to come into

00:34:47.510 --> 00:34:51.769
this world, but because of a drunk driver deciding

00:34:51.769 --> 00:34:57.429
to get in a vehicle at 7 o 'clock in the afternoon

00:34:57.429 --> 00:35:02.699
on a Tuesday. It changed my whole life and not

00:35:02.699 --> 00:35:05.239
even just my life. But you're talking about my

00:35:05.239 --> 00:35:09.320
daughter. Because they're the ones that are the

00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:11.800
ones that are affected the most. Our children

00:35:11.800 --> 00:35:13.880
is always the ones that being affected the most.

00:35:14.280 --> 00:35:18.579
And to me, that what broke me. Seeing her in

00:35:18.579 --> 00:35:22.539
those tubes, seeing her, how she was just fighting

00:35:22.539 --> 00:35:31.599
for her life. Really destroyed me. But. It was

00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:35.679
the strength that I needed. Seeing her fight

00:35:35.679 --> 00:35:38.760
for her life and getting better and progressing.

00:35:41.320 --> 00:35:45.159
The next day or two, the breathing apparatus

00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:49.619
was removed. She was breathing on her own. Even

00:35:49.619 --> 00:35:51.320
though she was brought into the world forcefully,

00:35:51.420 --> 00:35:54.219
she had jaundice because they considered her

00:35:54.219 --> 00:35:59.219
still a preemie. She fought through that. She

00:35:59.219 --> 00:36:03.900
got rid of it. A day or two. They didn't know

00:36:03.900 --> 00:36:05.920
how much brain damage she was going to get because

00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:08.360
she had what they call an infarct, which is a

00:36:08.360 --> 00:36:13.280
small stroke in the frontal lobe. So we didn't

00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:15.019
know what kind of damage it was going to happen.

00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:18.719
So they did this new procedure, which they would

00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:22.960
cool down her body to almost freezing temperature

00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:27.179
to kind of, what they say, to restart or reboot

00:36:27.179 --> 00:36:31.639
the brain. To avoid any further damage. Whatever

00:36:31.639 --> 00:36:34.019
damage would happen. Yes that's going to happen.

00:36:34.699 --> 00:36:38.440
But any further damage. We're trying to avoid

00:36:38.440 --> 00:36:42.260
that. So they did. That procedure. And seeing

00:36:42.260 --> 00:36:45.400
her. Just go through that. Like in this cold.

00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:55.780
Like cold bed. Like freezing cold. And. She's

00:36:55.780 --> 00:36:59.449
a warrior. And you know she's a warrior. She

00:36:59.449 --> 00:37:03.710
fought through it. I remember when they told

00:37:03.710 --> 00:37:06.590
me that I had to restart her body, like pretty

00:37:06.590 --> 00:37:10.170
much bring up her body temperature to where it's

00:37:10.170 --> 00:37:13.050
supposed to be. I remember they were telling

00:37:13.050 --> 00:37:15.710
me that there could be a possibility of her getting

00:37:15.710 --> 00:37:22.309
a seizure. I suffered from epilepsy. I had it

00:37:22.309 --> 00:37:26.050
since I was nine years old. I always had epilepsy.

00:37:26.510 --> 00:37:29.559
A lot of people don't know about it. So to me,

00:37:29.559 --> 00:37:31.840
it was a big deal. So I wanted to be there for

00:37:31.840 --> 00:37:35.340
her. So I remember staying that night, staying

00:37:35.340 --> 00:37:38.639
up, just seeing, hopefully, that she didn't get

00:37:38.639 --> 00:37:43.920
a seizure. She didn't. Thank God she fought through.

00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:47.780
Her body was at the right temperature, body stabilized.

00:37:48.500 --> 00:37:53.739
She was fighting. And they told me she overcame

00:37:53.739 --> 00:37:59.219
so many obstacles that there were stunts. by

00:37:59.219 --> 00:38:01.500
her condition they said we thought we were going

00:38:01.500 --> 00:38:04.079
to keep her for months you might take her for

00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:10.980
in a few weeks i'm stunned right and at that

00:38:10.980 --> 00:38:13.480
time i'm going through the funeral process going

00:38:13.480 --> 00:38:16.940
to the funeral i don't know if you ever uh had

00:38:16.940 --> 00:38:20.539
to deal with that but imagine it's a lot of stress

00:38:20.539 --> 00:38:23.780
yeah and then on top of that having a daughter

00:38:23.780 --> 00:38:27.789
and then the NICU And then going through my grief,

00:38:27.929 --> 00:38:30.449
going through my feelings, going through my pain

00:38:30.449 --> 00:38:33.389
and suffering. It was tough. It was tough. It

00:38:33.389 --> 00:38:37.409
was really tough. It's a lot. A lot to handle.

00:38:38.230 --> 00:38:43.349
But you know what? I was like, I have to get

00:38:43.349 --> 00:38:45.869
through it. I have to get through it. I can't

00:38:45.869 --> 00:38:51.670
give up. Did the idea of how hard your daughter...

00:38:52.190 --> 00:38:54.989
had to fight for her own life and the miracle

00:38:54.989 --> 00:38:58.949
of her surviving, did that really carry you through

00:38:58.949 --> 00:39:03.630
a lot of this grief? To this very day. This is

00:39:03.630 --> 00:39:06.289
what helps me up. This is what wakes me up every

00:39:06.289 --> 00:39:10.929
morning. It's her strength. Her strength that

00:39:10.929 --> 00:39:14.349
she always fights, always, always fights. And

00:39:14.349 --> 00:39:18.469
I always remember this. I remember this is the

00:39:18.469 --> 00:39:21.789
biggest lesson I learned from my daughter. is

00:39:21.789 --> 00:39:24.530
that I saw her in that bed as she's progressing

00:39:24.530 --> 00:39:29.349
in a positive way. And I'm like, if this little

00:39:29.349 --> 00:39:33.489
girl is fighting for her life to be here in this

00:39:33.489 --> 00:39:39.570
world, I need to do the same. I need to fight

00:39:39.570 --> 00:39:44.610
to be here for her. I wanted to be a father.

00:39:45.150 --> 00:39:48.409
This is my time to shine. That would be the...

00:39:48.920 --> 00:39:51.860
best father that I could possibly be for her

00:39:51.860 --> 00:39:55.119
because she wants to be here for me. So I need

00:39:55.119 --> 00:39:58.199
to be here for her. And that's where my whole

00:39:58.199 --> 00:40:03.480
perspective changed. I decided to never show

00:40:03.480 --> 00:40:07.300
my pain, my suffering in front of my daughter.

00:40:07.420 --> 00:40:12.019
It was always positivity. It was always happiness

00:40:12.019 --> 00:40:15.539
in my face. Every time I held her, every time

00:40:15.539 --> 00:40:19.170
I was with her. It was positive energy because

00:40:19.170 --> 00:40:24.369
it wasn't her fault that she was placed in that

00:40:24.369 --> 00:40:31.409
position that she was. It wasn't her fault. And

00:40:31.409 --> 00:40:35.170
I wanted to make sure that she had all the love

00:40:35.170 --> 00:40:38.969
that she needs in this world. And that's what

00:40:38.969 --> 00:40:43.670
made me keep fighting, keep pushing through.

00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:52.099
I remember, like, finally taking her home. They

00:40:52.099 --> 00:40:54.039
told me that, like, I hope you got plenty of

00:40:54.039 --> 00:40:57.539
rest. You're definitely going to, any of you

00:40:57.539 --> 00:41:01.219
have it, rest up because next Tuesday, like,

00:41:01.300 --> 00:41:03.000
I remember it was, I think it was a Tuesday.

00:41:03.059 --> 00:41:05.719
I forget what day it was. You're taking her home.

00:41:05.820 --> 00:41:09.860
So get as much rest. But at that time, I couldn't

00:41:09.860 --> 00:41:11.599
sleep. You know, I'm going through everything,

00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:15.559
every emotion possible. Yeah. But I should have.

00:41:16.079 --> 00:41:19.420
Took their advice because taking her home, I

00:41:19.420 --> 00:41:22.579
thought she was going to be in that hospital

00:41:22.579 --> 00:41:28.159
cycle. I'll be fine. It was a country. And let

00:41:28.159 --> 00:41:35.320
me tell you, I admire, admire every single woman,

00:41:35.360 --> 00:41:38.980
like single mother out there that raised kids

00:41:38.980 --> 00:41:45.309
on their own. I admire them because. It was hard.

00:41:46.010 --> 00:41:52.829
Hard. I remember the first week, zero sleep.

00:41:53.050 --> 00:41:56.289
I swear to you. I looked like those zombies in

00:41:56.289 --> 00:42:00.269
The Walking Dead. I kid you not. It was so bad.

00:42:00.590 --> 00:42:02.389
I had to call my mom. I'm like, Mom, I haven't

00:42:02.389 --> 00:42:06.769
slept for a week. Every time I close my eyes,

00:42:06.869 --> 00:42:10.449
I catch myself falling asleep. It's not good

00:42:10.449 --> 00:42:14.469
because I'm with my baby girl. It's not good.

00:42:15.510 --> 00:42:17.550
So I remember, like, she would come sometimes

00:42:17.550 --> 00:42:20.510
and help me or, you know, her side of the family

00:42:20.510 --> 00:42:25.269
would help me, like, watch her and try to, like,

00:42:25.289 --> 00:42:29.010
catch some Zs. But it's never the case, you know?

00:42:29.030 --> 00:42:34.469
Like, I had the parenting mindset, right? Like,

00:42:34.469 --> 00:42:36.750
hearing her cry, I'm like, what's going on? What's

00:42:36.750 --> 00:42:39.289
wrong? You know? And they're like, no, she's

00:42:39.289 --> 00:42:42.230
okay. She's just hungry. But it was just, like,

00:42:42.230 --> 00:42:45.820
my father. father in me like just kick it and

00:42:45.820 --> 00:42:52.039
um yeah i would have to uh uh i remember you

00:42:52.039 --> 00:42:54.179
know when she would get hungry wake up with her

00:42:54.179 --> 00:42:58.760
and she's hysterical crying like so hungry and

00:42:58.760 --> 00:43:02.760
i would go to the kitchen warm up the water up

00:43:02.760 --> 00:43:05.880
while holding her and trying to get the little

00:43:05.880 --> 00:43:09.019
scoop of formula into the little bottle like

00:43:10.699 --> 00:43:15.019
with a lack of sleep and the struggle just trying

00:43:15.019 --> 00:43:17.300
to get it in the cup in the in the bottle and

00:43:17.300 --> 00:43:20.579
then pouring the hot water and uh that is not

00:43:20.579 --> 00:43:23.239
hot enough and then you're just testing it and

00:43:23.239 --> 00:43:26.119
then just make sure it's just right and then

00:43:26.119 --> 00:43:30.480
going back to the room and feeding her and then

00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:34.139
waiting to her to finish and then burp her and

00:43:34.139 --> 00:43:36.059
then you know just struggle burping the kids

00:43:36.059 --> 00:43:38.650
sometimes they don't burp And you're there for

00:43:38.650 --> 00:43:41.010
like almost 30 minutes trying to burp them. And

00:43:41.010 --> 00:43:45.650
you finally do. And you put them to sleep. Finally

00:43:45.650 --> 00:43:48.210
close your eyes. And then 10 minutes later, they're

00:43:48.210 --> 00:43:53.210
up again. And it's all over again. And then diaper

00:43:53.210 --> 00:44:00.449
change. I remember telling my late wife before

00:44:00.449 --> 00:44:04.030
when she was pregnant, I was like, I'll do everything,

00:44:04.230 --> 00:44:07.849
everything that you want me to do. just not change

00:44:07.849 --> 00:44:11.690
a diaper i think it was just because i think

00:44:11.690 --> 00:44:13.809
it was just because she was a baby girl and i

00:44:13.809 --> 00:44:15.730
know hot girls you know it could be sensitive

00:44:15.730 --> 00:44:19.289
right so for me it was like that's a lot of responsibility

00:44:19.289 --> 00:44:21.650
for me i don't know i don't know i'm up for it

00:44:21.650 --> 00:44:26.550
right and uh i was scared about that and i was

00:44:26.550 --> 00:44:28.929
like i'll do everything that you want me to do

00:44:28.929 --> 00:44:32.190
just don't change a diaper right and then guess

00:44:32.190 --> 00:44:35.469
what i had to change them you know it was all

00:44:35.469 --> 00:44:38.039
of them Yep, you had to change all of them. All

00:44:38.039 --> 00:44:41.400
of them. No break for me. So I remember that

00:44:41.400 --> 00:44:46.380
I would say shout out to, if anybody's listening

00:44:46.380 --> 00:44:52.500
from the UCI Irvine Medical Center, thank you

00:44:52.500 --> 00:44:56.440
so much for everything that you have given me

00:44:56.440 --> 00:44:59.360
and done for my child and for myself and prepared

00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:01.940
me. Because they definitely, I remember they

00:45:01.940 --> 00:45:03.699
were like, the nurses were like. You're going

00:45:03.699 --> 00:45:05.340
to learn how to change a diaper. And I'm like,

00:45:05.460 --> 00:45:08.059
I just came to visit my daughter, you know, be

00:45:08.059 --> 00:45:09.300
here with her. And I'm like, no, you're going

00:45:09.300 --> 00:45:11.079
to learn because you're going to need it. And

00:45:11.079 --> 00:45:13.719
I'm glad they did because they taught me. I remember

00:45:13.719 --> 00:45:15.880
the first time changing her at the hospital,

00:45:15.900 --> 00:45:19.579
the NICU. She had a blowout. I remember as soon

00:45:19.579 --> 00:45:23.980
I got baptized. Oh, yeah. As soon as I removed

00:45:23.980 --> 00:45:30.260
that, her diaper, it was like a, like a shotgun.

00:45:30.360 --> 00:45:33.489
It was like. Boom. And it was like all over me,

00:45:33.670 --> 00:45:36.989
all over the medical equipment. I was embarrassed.

00:45:37.150 --> 00:45:39.269
I was like, oh, that was my girl doing that.

00:45:39.349 --> 00:45:40.889
I'm like, I felt so embarrassed. And they're

00:45:40.889 --> 00:45:43.349
like, no, don't worry about it. You're good.

00:45:44.190 --> 00:45:47.250
I cleaned her up. But that was a great experience.

00:45:47.329 --> 00:45:51.030
I was like, it can't get any worse than this.

00:45:51.110 --> 00:45:53.510
So let's do it. So then I learned how to change

00:45:53.510 --> 00:45:57.929
diapers and I became an expert. I mean, I was

00:45:57.929 --> 00:45:59.969
on it. You know, I loved it, you know, and for

00:45:59.969 --> 00:46:02.210
me, it was just like these are those special

00:46:02.210 --> 00:46:04.050
moments, right? These are the special moments

00:46:04.050 --> 00:46:07.789
that you look forward to. Well, isn't that interesting,

00:46:07.969 --> 00:46:10.510
right? Like I think for anybody that has had

00:46:10.510 --> 00:46:13.929
children, you can relate because being a parent,

00:46:13.949 --> 00:46:16.090
especially for a young child like that, is hard.

00:46:16.190 --> 00:46:19.429
Like there's a lot of difficulty in it, not getting

00:46:19.429 --> 00:46:22.940
sleep and trying to find ways to. get them calm

00:46:22.940 --> 00:46:24.980
or to keep them happy when they can't speak and

00:46:24.980 --> 00:46:27.480
they can't communicate and changing dirty diapers.

00:46:27.659 --> 00:46:30.840
And, and, and yet, just like you said, like when,

00:46:30.880 --> 00:46:34.500
when you can reframe it and appreciated that

00:46:34.500 --> 00:46:36.519
those, like, those are the moments that you have

00:46:36.519 --> 00:46:39.739
with this precious little child, it can, it can

00:46:39.739 --> 00:46:43.159
make all the difference. It's, um, when I was,

00:46:43.179 --> 00:46:46.780
when I was kind of preparing for, um, for us

00:46:46.780 --> 00:46:50.039
visiting, I came across a quote from Viktor Frankl,

00:46:50.059 --> 00:46:54.239
who wrote Man's Search for Meaning. And he wrote,

00:46:54.420 --> 00:46:57.000
when we are no longer able to change a situation,

00:46:57.219 --> 00:47:01.960
we are challenged to change ourselves. And that

00:47:01.960 --> 00:47:03.679
just, as you were talking, it just reminded me

00:47:03.679 --> 00:47:05.260
exactly of that. I was like, that was the perfect

00:47:05.260 --> 00:47:07.440
quote for me to have put on here, because as

00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:09.739
you're talking about the situation that you're

00:47:09.739 --> 00:47:13.000
thrust into, and that you had an opportunity,

00:47:13.019 --> 00:47:15.380
you could either just... Kind of just continue

00:47:15.380 --> 00:47:19.159
to grieve and go into a hole and shut out the

00:47:19.159 --> 00:47:20.940
rest of the world and not take care of your daughter.

00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:25.900
Or you could choose to find strength in your

00:47:25.900 --> 00:47:28.380
daughter's strength and to know that you had

00:47:28.380 --> 00:47:31.460
to be there for her. And then to find meaning

00:47:31.460 --> 00:47:34.820
in changing a blowout and changing a diaper and

00:47:34.820 --> 00:47:38.440
doing those things for her, which you did. Yeah,

00:47:38.460 --> 00:47:43.579
you nailed it. It was for me, it was just. It's

00:47:43.579 --> 00:47:46.880
easy to give up, right? But that wasn't the case.

00:47:47.159 --> 00:47:52.320
For me, that wasn't an option. This baby girl

00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:56.159
needed me. She needs me. And I had to step up.

00:47:56.280 --> 00:47:58.980
I had to step up. I had to change. I had to change

00:47:58.980 --> 00:48:03.480
my mentality. I needed to change everything,

00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:07.559
right? Everything. And my whole, the biggest

00:48:07.559 --> 00:48:11.599
change to me was my mindset, right? My mindset

00:48:11.599 --> 00:48:16.489
of just like, I've been blessed for all these

00:48:16.489 --> 00:48:18.409
opportunities. I've been blessed for a beautiful

00:48:18.409 --> 00:48:20.929
community that was always supporting me. I remember

00:48:20.929 --> 00:48:23.750
during the journey of trying to raise my daughter,

00:48:23.829 --> 00:48:28.889
people reaching out to me and saying how much

00:48:28.889 --> 00:48:32.349
they prayed for me and my daughter and being

00:48:32.349 --> 00:48:38.050
there for me. It was beautiful. And then just

00:48:38.050 --> 00:48:41.329
being there for my daughter and just being positive

00:48:41.329 --> 00:48:45.159
for her. To me, it was just I need to change

00:48:45.159 --> 00:48:48.500
this this mindset to a positivity. You know,

00:48:48.519 --> 00:48:50.659
I was given a second chance in life. You know,

00:48:50.659 --> 00:48:53.000
I could have also been dead, too. I could have

00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:56.239
been struck with that vehicle as well. But I

00:48:56.239 --> 00:49:01.179
didn't. But I'm still here now. And I found my

00:49:01.179 --> 00:49:03.460
purpose, you know, to be the best father that

00:49:03.460 --> 00:49:06.739
I could possibly be. But yet be inspiration to

00:49:06.739 --> 00:49:09.320
this world. You know, I wanted to make sure that

00:49:09.320 --> 00:49:15.670
I use my story in a positive way. When I share

00:49:15.670 --> 00:49:19.369
my story, I do it for free. I don't do it for

00:49:19.369 --> 00:49:23.469
any financial gain. I don't do it for any publicity.

00:49:23.670 --> 00:49:30.789
No, I do this only to be able to inspire others.

00:49:30.969 --> 00:49:33.989
This is why I tell my story. I only tell my story

00:49:33.989 --> 00:49:38.289
to help others that are maybe struggling or maybe

00:49:38.289 --> 00:49:42.130
in a... in a down time and trying to find that,

00:49:42.130 --> 00:49:44.289
that light at the end of the tunnel, you know,

00:49:44.289 --> 00:49:47.969
and I found it, I found it. And all I'm doing

00:49:47.969 --> 00:49:50.869
is trying to help others find their purpose in

00:49:50.869 --> 00:49:56.449
life too. Yeah. I love that. And so, you know,

00:49:56.489 --> 00:49:59.590
one of the things too, that we, uh, we talked

00:49:59.590 --> 00:50:02.130
about preparing for this was what's our, what's

00:50:02.130 --> 00:50:03.829
our Disney movie tie -in going to be. Right.

00:50:04.110 --> 00:50:06.550
And, uh, the one that, that really struck a chord

00:50:06.550 --> 00:50:10.219
for you was in Kanto. And there's just a lot

00:50:10.219 --> 00:50:13.019
of, you know, really great lessons we can learn

00:50:13.019 --> 00:50:15.579
from Encanto that parallel really, really closely

00:50:15.579 --> 00:50:18.300
with the story that you have. And one of the

00:50:18.300 --> 00:50:20.039
ones from the very beginning of the story, I

00:50:20.039 --> 00:50:22.000
think, kind of sets the stage exactly like it

00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:26.179
did for you, which is with Abuela. And when she's

00:50:26.179 --> 00:50:28.159
kind of telling the story at the beginning, she

00:50:28.159 --> 00:50:30.920
says, long ago, when my three babies had just

00:50:30.920 --> 00:50:33.760
been born, your abuelo Pedro and I were forced

00:50:33.760 --> 00:50:36.900
to flee our home. And though many joined us hoping

00:50:36.900 --> 00:50:39.519
to find a new home, we could not escape the dangers

00:50:39.519 --> 00:50:43.280
and your abuelo was lost. But in our darkest

00:50:43.280 --> 00:50:47.219
moment, we were given a miracle. You know, for

00:50:47.219 --> 00:50:50.380
you, why is that? What does that resonate for

00:50:50.380 --> 00:50:54.659
you and what your story is? My darkest times,

00:50:54.780 --> 00:50:58.380
my whole life changed. You know, we were planning,

00:50:58.619 --> 00:51:05.539
you know, a family. Maybe having more kids, having

00:51:05.539 --> 00:51:10.940
a beautiful home. We were thinking of where to

00:51:10.940 --> 00:51:13.280
move to, where we can buy a beautiful home, where

00:51:13.280 --> 00:51:16.860
we can raise our kids, building a future. And

00:51:16.860 --> 00:51:19.400
then all of a sudden, just my life turned upside

00:51:19.400 --> 00:51:23.619
down, turned into this darkness. But out of that

00:51:23.619 --> 00:51:27.119
darkness, light came into my world in the shape

00:51:27.119 --> 00:51:32.820
of my baby girl, my daughter. I can truly say

00:51:32.820 --> 00:51:36.800
I have a miracle as a daughter because she was

00:51:36.800 --> 00:51:39.420
the miracle that I needed. She was the strength

00:51:39.420 --> 00:51:45.559
that I needed to find purpose again. And with

00:51:45.559 --> 00:51:52.539
Abuela, it's losing her husband. You lost your

00:51:52.539 --> 00:51:54.199
wife, obviously, and then she's got these three

00:51:54.199 --> 00:51:57.320
little babies that she's got to try to raise.

00:51:57.440 --> 00:51:58.860
And you've got your daughter that you've got

00:51:58.860 --> 00:52:02.280
to try to raise. And what's really this sweet

00:52:02.280 --> 00:52:06.719
moment in kind of this overarching journey, right,

00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:10.039
of Encanto. And maybe you can weigh in, too,

00:52:10.099 --> 00:52:13.179
on kind of how it evolves over the course of

00:52:13.179 --> 00:52:14.699
the movie relating to the stuff that you do.

00:52:14.780 --> 00:52:16.900
But at the very end, when they're finally kind

00:52:16.900 --> 00:52:20.739
of rebuilding the casita after it kind of— Collapses.

00:52:20.900 --> 00:52:24.159
Yeah, after it collapsed. And there's this song

00:52:24.159 --> 00:52:28.599
called All of You. And in it, Abuela's kind of—

00:52:29.130 --> 00:52:31.530
come into some realizations about things right

00:52:31.530 --> 00:52:33.690
about how you know maybe she could have done

00:52:33.690 --> 00:52:35.269
things a little bit different after having gotten

00:52:35.269 --> 00:52:37.210
that miracle and loving her family so much but

00:52:37.210 --> 00:52:39.289
but maybe some mistakes she made and part of

00:52:39.289 --> 00:52:41.429
the song she says and i'm sorry i held on too

00:52:41.429 --> 00:52:44.429
tight just so afraid i'd lose you too the miracle

00:52:44.429 --> 00:52:48.190
is not some magic that you've got the miracle

00:52:48.190 --> 00:52:52.360
is you not some gift just you The miracle is

00:52:52.360 --> 00:52:55.139
you. And so as I hear your story, so much of

00:52:55.139 --> 00:52:57.360
that is just like you said, you know, your daughter

00:52:57.360 --> 00:53:00.519
is the miracle. It's not about some gift, some

00:53:00.519 --> 00:53:03.579
external talent she has. Like she is a miracle.

00:53:03.960 --> 00:53:06.780
You are the miracle because you just as easily

00:53:06.780 --> 00:53:09.460
could have lost your life as well. But you didn't.

00:53:09.659 --> 00:53:12.099
It's now you become a miracle and she's a miracle.

00:53:12.199 --> 00:53:15.000
And it's just so wonderful that you're willing

00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:18.420
to share this story that you have. of kind of

00:53:18.420 --> 00:53:21.840
what you experienced, because it is something

00:53:21.840 --> 00:53:25.840
so difficult that you went through, and yet you're

00:53:25.840 --> 00:53:28.440
using it for good. You've been able to create

00:53:28.440 --> 00:53:31.179
this beautiful life that you have for you and

00:53:31.179 --> 00:53:34.739
for your daughter and gain this great appreciation

00:53:34.739 --> 00:53:38.719
for what life is because you were given this

00:53:38.719 --> 00:53:42.719
gift. What other things from Encanto really resonate

00:53:42.719 --> 00:53:44.420
for you? Was there any other parts of the story

00:53:44.420 --> 00:53:47.239
that... You really liked from Encanto that you

00:53:47.239 --> 00:53:49.579
feel, you know, are either parallels to your

00:53:49.579 --> 00:53:52.380
story that you learned from. Yeah, I would say,

00:53:52.500 --> 00:53:59.000
you know, my daughter, she looked so like Mirabel

00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:05.059
with her short curly hair and just her stature.

00:54:06.860 --> 00:54:09.539
We used to watch it all the time, and she loved

00:54:09.539 --> 00:54:13.699
Encanto. We even did one of her birthdays, Encanto

00:54:13.699 --> 00:54:18.360
theme, and I even dressed up like Bruno. I remember

00:54:18.360 --> 00:54:22.800
we gone to Boogie Bash, and she was dressed like

00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:27.320
Encanto. I was Bruno as well. So I did a lot

00:54:27.320 --> 00:54:30.820
for her, you know, just great memories to build

00:54:30.820 --> 00:54:33.539
with her. And what I love so much about that

00:54:33.539 --> 00:54:37.179
movie was, yes, I would say Abuela's story. And

00:54:37.179 --> 00:54:41.780
then seeing Adeline, my daughter, being like

00:54:41.780 --> 00:54:45.159
Mirabel, you know, like finding, trying to find

00:54:45.159 --> 00:54:48.440
herself, you know, trying to find herself in

00:54:48.440 --> 00:54:52.280
a house full of people that have these extraordinary

00:54:52.280 --> 00:54:57.019
powers and blessings. Right. And she's just trying

00:54:57.019 --> 00:54:59.019
to find her. She's trying to find her purpose.

00:54:59.079 --> 00:55:04.699
But yet she's so supportive of her family. You

00:55:04.699 --> 00:55:07.559
know, regardless that she has powers or no powers,

00:55:07.820 --> 00:55:10.940
she always cared about her family. She always

00:55:10.940 --> 00:55:13.019
put her family first. And that's what I noticed

00:55:13.019 --> 00:55:15.760
a lot with my daughter. She has so much love

00:55:15.760 --> 00:55:19.780
to give. You know, she's so loving. You know,

00:55:19.800 --> 00:55:23.039
she's that little person that lights up the room.

00:55:24.119 --> 00:55:29.760
You know, hugs random strangers. Just really

00:55:29.760 --> 00:55:35.460
kind and really loving. And I love that. That

00:55:35.460 --> 00:55:38.500
she has no mommy, that she will never get to

00:55:38.500 --> 00:55:42.320
meet her mommy. She still knows what love is.

00:55:42.460 --> 00:55:48.099
She still knows how to give love. And I remember

00:55:48.099 --> 00:55:50.639
every time, every little moment, like she hugs

00:55:50.639 --> 00:55:53.400
me and she embraces me and she's like, I love

00:55:53.400 --> 00:55:56.619
you, daddy. And it's like the most beautiful

00:55:56.619 --> 00:56:02.780
thing. Those are the moments that are worth all

00:56:02.780 --> 00:56:08.590
the sacrifices. All the pain, everything I went

00:56:08.590 --> 00:56:14.789
through, were those very moments. Those are the

00:56:14.789 --> 00:56:20.409
moments that I cherish most. I think it's such

00:56:20.409 --> 00:56:26.510
a great reminder for us that those are the moments

00:56:26.510 --> 00:56:29.570
to cherish. You know, when I think about my two

00:56:29.570 --> 00:56:32.469
little girls, they're 10 and 6, and one of my

00:56:32.469 --> 00:56:36.570
favorite things in the world. is when I come

00:56:36.570 --> 00:56:39.889
home from work and they just run up to me and

00:56:39.889 --> 00:56:42.070
give me a big hug just because I'm their dad

00:56:42.070 --> 00:56:44.190
and they love me and they tell me they love me

00:56:44.190 --> 00:56:47.449
and they give me that hug and it's just the moments

00:56:47.449 --> 00:56:49.769
in life that bring us such great joy because

00:56:49.769 --> 00:56:52.530
life is not always easy. Sometimes life has challenges

00:56:52.530 --> 00:56:55.650
and sometimes... Huge challenges like you had.

00:56:56.449 --> 00:56:58.650
Immense, like you don't know how you could possibly

00:56:58.650 --> 00:57:01.650
overcome those challenges. And yet there's these

00:57:01.650 --> 00:57:04.610
moments in life that remind us that life is worth

00:57:04.610 --> 00:57:07.489
living and that we can find joy and we can find

00:57:07.489 --> 00:57:11.289
happiness even when we go through trials, which

00:57:11.289 --> 00:57:14.230
we all do. And not many of us will go through

00:57:14.230 --> 00:57:17.610
a trial like you did. But we all have trials.

00:57:18.590 --> 00:57:22.050
And knowing that you had the strength to overcome

00:57:22.050 --> 00:57:25.650
the trial you did, it makes it for the rest of

00:57:25.650 --> 00:57:27.969
us like, okay, I can do it too. You know, I can

00:57:27.969 --> 00:57:31.050
overcome a little thing that I've got, a difficulty

00:57:31.050 --> 00:57:34.010
at work or a difficult relationship, that I can

00:57:34.010 --> 00:57:36.869
still overcome it. I can still find happiness

00:57:36.869 --> 00:57:40.130
and joy, even though I might have these little

00:57:40.130 --> 00:57:43.670
challenges that come up in life. Absolutely.

00:57:43.789 --> 00:57:49.429
I agree. Sometimes we're so busy with life that

00:57:49.429 --> 00:57:51.789
we take it for granted. We take those little

00:57:51.789 --> 00:57:54.110
special moments for granted. That's why I always

00:57:54.110 --> 00:58:00.150
say, you know, when the other fathers, you know,

00:58:00.150 --> 00:58:02.369
like, or they ever reach out to me, you know,

00:58:02.369 --> 00:58:04.889
I always tell them, like, just dedicate at least

00:58:04.889 --> 00:58:08.710
20 minutes of your time a day, right? Those 20

00:58:08.710 --> 00:58:13.190
minutes will feel like an eternity for them.

00:58:13.630 --> 00:58:15.730
You know, they won't care that you were gone.

00:58:16.510 --> 00:58:20.210
For eight to ten hours at work. All they look

00:58:20.210 --> 00:58:25.949
forward to. Throughout their day. Is that. Little

00:58:25.949 --> 00:58:29.130
bit of time that they have with their dad. Dedicated.

00:58:30.090 --> 00:58:35.909
Solely. All their attention to them. Like. It's

00:58:35.909 --> 00:58:37.710
the best feeling. And I always try to do that

00:58:37.710 --> 00:58:42.780
all the time. Just dedicate every. A little segment

00:58:42.780 --> 00:58:44.599
that I possibly can add for my daughter, just

00:58:44.599 --> 00:58:47.159
give them. And, you know, now that I have a growing

00:58:47.159 --> 00:58:50.980
family, a newborn, and I try to embed that same

00:58:50.980 --> 00:58:54.500
mentality with our newborn. You know, I'm dedicating,

00:58:54.599 --> 00:58:57.159
spending time changing his diaper. You know,

00:58:57.179 --> 00:59:01.000
he's being so excited while I'm changing his

00:59:01.000 --> 00:59:04.119
diaper and licking up and he's just giggling.

00:59:04.159 --> 00:59:06.900
And I love it. It's just those are the moments

00:59:06.900 --> 00:59:09.000
that you cherish, right? This is the moments

00:59:09.000 --> 00:59:12.119
why you wanted to become a father. It's a beautiful

00:59:12.119 --> 00:59:15.480
thing. And I'm glad you brought that out, too,

00:59:15.500 --> 00:59:18.559
because, you know, a huge congratulations on

00:59:18.559 --> 00:59:22.079
having having your little one, another little

00:59:22.079 --> 00:59:25.500
miracle that you have in your life and, you know,

00:59:25.519 --> 00:59:27.960
the joy and happiness that that will continue

00:59:27.960 --> 00:59:31.780
to bring. And how does your how does your how

00:59:31.780 --> 00:59:33.300
does your daughter like having a little brother?

00:59:34.099 --> 00:59:37.340
She loves it. Yeah, she loves it. Yes. I think

00:59:37.340 --> 00:59:40.440
that's what made me step out into the world.

00:59:41.199 --> 00:59:47.980
I remember at the time our neighbor had a daughter.

00:59:48.360 --> 00:59:51.860
So they had a baby girl and then my daughter

00:59:51.860 --> 00:59:54.400
holding the baby for the first time. And I could

00:59:54.400 --> 00:59:57.260
see, I even have a video where her eyes just

00:59:57.260 --> 01:00:02.679
lit up, holding the baby, just embracing the

01:00:02.679 --> 01:00:06.280
baby, being so gentle. And it just made me realize,

01:00:06.340 --> 01:00:11.340
like, I was so determined to... Live a life of

01:00:11.340 --> 01:00:14.280
just being her and I, right? Just kind of living

01:00:14.280 --> 01:00:17.219
a life of just, I'll be content with just having

01:00:17.219 --> 01:00:21.920
my daughter. Not realizing what she wanted. And

01:00:21.920 --> 01:00:23.900
what I saw with my daughter is that she wanted

01:00:23.900 --> 01:00:31.420
a family. She wanted siblings. And at that moment,

01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:34.179
I was like, I think I'm just being selfish, right?

01:00:34.280 --> 01:00:37.460
I wasn't thinking about her and what she wanted

01:00:37.460 --> 01:00:40.420
in this life. And I was like, I think it's time.

01:00:40.460 --> 01:00:43.420
It's already been five years. I think I grieved

01:00:43.420 --> 01:00:48.099
enough, you know, in a sense of just, if I wait

01:00:48.099 --> 01:00:50.019
longer, then it's going to be a little harder

01:00:50.019 --> 01:00:53.679
for her, you know. And I decided to put myself

01:00:53.679 --> 01:00:57.019
out there and I found an amazing partner that

01:00:57.019 --> 01:01:01.139
supports me, that's there for me. I love her

01:01:01.139 --> 01:01:04.940
with all my heart. She's been there for me, understands

01:01:04.940 --> 01:01:07.139
what I went through and what I'm going through.

01:01:07.949 --> 01:01:10.389
you know, she always supported me, you know,

01:01:10.389 --> 01:01:13.289
she's always been there and she embraced my daughter

01:01:13.289 --> 01:01:16.110
as one of her own. And she's been a great mother

01:01:16.110 --> 01:01:19.150
figure. And, um, even though sometimes we bump

01:01:19.150 --> 01:01:22.469
heads and we don't, you know, we don't, we don't

01:01:22.469 --> 01:01:25.110
coordinate, but yet I know her good intentions,

01:01:25.210 --> 01:01:27.369
you know, she's always been good to my daughter

01:01:27.369 --> 01:01:30.289
and teaching her well. And, and I've been truly

01:01:30.289 --> 01:01:36.650
appreciative of her and, um, found out that,

01:01:36.690 --> 01:01:40.320
you know, She was pregnant, and I couldn't believe

01:01:40.320 --> 01:01:42.079
it because I was like, man, I never expected

01:01:42.079 --> 01:01:46.780
to be a father again. So having to become a father

01:01:46.780 --> 01:01:49.940
again was a beautiful thing, a beautiful feeling.

01:01:50.039 --> 01:01:53.760
I'm blessed and a miracle again. And then to

01:01:53.760 --> 01:01:56.500
find out it was a baby boy, I was like, yes,

01:01:56.659 --> 01:02:00.360
now I can be able to experience having a boy,

01:02:00.599 --> 01:02:05.239
being a boy dad now. So it's been a beautiful

01:02:05.239 --> 01:02:08.409
journey. you know changing diapers again and

01:02:08.409 --> 01:02:11.489
enjoying the little moments and my daughter embracing

01:02:11.489 --> 01:02:15.329
him and she loves him she sings to him all the

01:02:15.329 --> 01:02:19.429
time oh cute yes so she sings to him all the

01:02:19.429 --> 01:02:22.750
time and it's a beautiful bond and you know having

01:02:22.750 --> 01:02:26.309
a stepson as well you know uh having all those

01:02:26.309 --> 01:02:28.829
ties in so it's it's kind of like i would say

01:02:28.829 --> 01:02:31.250
it's been beautiful to kind of put on the different

01:02:31.250 --> 01:02:37.170
dad type jobs in a sense of being That father

01:02:37.170 --> 01:02:40.110
for my daughter, being there supportive, you

01:02:40.110 --> 01:02:42.030
know, as she's growing up, trying to figure out

01:02:42.030 --> 01:02:45.650
who she is. And then change the hat to be kind

01:02:45.650 --> 01:02:47.789
of being that supportive dad for the stepson

01:02:47.789 --> 01:02:52.530
that, you know, he's older. So being there for

01:02:52.530 --> 01:02:56.329
him and then putting on that hat of that newborn

01:02:56.329 --> 01:02:59.829
that needs me as well. And it's helping my partner.

01:02:59.969 --> 01:03:03.730
So it's been a journey. It's been challenges

01:03:03.730 --> 01:03:08.170
at times. I'm truly blessed. I'm truly thankful.

01:03:08.789 --> 01:03:13.590
Like in the movie Encanto, you know, at the end,

01:03:13.590 --> 01:03:16.150
like you mentioned, you know, the miracle is

01:03:16.150 --> 01:03:19.969
you. I feel like that sometimes we take for granted

01:03:19.969 --> 01:03:24.289
of what we have. And we're so focused on making

01:03:24.289 --> 01:03:28.909
sure that we're trying to do our best and trying

01:03:28.909 --> 01:03:31.730
to live life the best we can. But at the end

01:03:31.730 --> 01:03:34.130
of the day, what matters most is being at home

01:03:34.130 --> 01:03:37.239
and being with your family. and cherish one another,

01:03:37.440 --> 01:03:42.980
right? Yeah. Powers or no powers, right? So that's

01:03:42.980 --> 01:03:46.739
me. That's me when I come home, enjoy all the

01:03:46.739 --> 01:03:49.920
kids and, you know, spend time and be in the

01:03:49.920 --> 01:03:52.980
backyard playing catch and playing baseball.

01:03:54.260 --> 01:03:58.699
You know, that's what really life is about. So

01:03:58.699 --> 01:04:02.519
that's why I love about Encanto. It just really

01:04:02.519 --> 01:04:08.010
brings me back to what's important. and uh perspiration

01:04:08.010 --> 01:04:12.949
right it's it's a being able to overcome uh something

01:04:12.949 --> 01:04:16.869
horrific into something beautiful so that's why

01:04:16.869 --> 01:04:21.170
i love that movie so much so let me ask you uh

01:04:21.170 --> 01:04:23.429
kind of one final question before we go to our

01:04:23.429 --> 01:04:27.469
our this or that segment yeah what did you what

01:04:27.469 --> 01:04:31.550
do you feel like you learned about love that

01:04:31.550 --> 01:04:34.659
you really couldn't have learned Had you not

01:04:34.659 --> 01:04:38.699
gone through this experience. Oh man. Let's see.

01:04:49.980 --> 01:04:57.039
I would say that. I would say. Love will find

01:04:57.039 --> 01:05:03.030
you. Even when you're not looking. That sometimes

01:05:03.030 --> 01:05:05.769
when you think you give up on love, love will

01:05:05.769 --> 01:05:12.849
find you. And love comes in different forms and

01:05:12.849 --> 01:05:16.329
shapes. I never expected to fall in love again,

01:05:16.510 --> 01:05:21.469
to find a partner again, but I did. And it's

01:05:21.469 --> 01:05:25.710
a beautiful thing. And I think that's what I

01:05:25.710 --> 01:05:28.989
learned the most. I think it's more of like...

01:05:32.539 --> 01:05:39.400
Love can overcome anything. Anger, grief, pain.

01:05:41.260 --> 01:05:43.239
Yeah, because you've had your fair share. You've

01:05:43.239 --> 01:05:45.820
had your fair share of that. And I love that.

01:05:45.880 --> 01:05:49.800
I love that. So what we'll do then is let's move

01:05:49.800 --> 01:05:52.099
to our this or that segment. All right. You ready

01:05:52.099 --> 01:05:55.539
for this? I'm ready. Okay. So, you know, you

01:05:55.539 --> 01:05:58.039
might have some controversial opinions on these

01:05:58.039 --> 01:05:59.960
this or that. So we'll have to see if you can

01:05:59.960 --> 01:06:02.690
challenge those if you do. All right, so the

01:06:02.690 --> 01:06:09.409
first one, this or that, Mirabel or Abuela? Oh,

01:06:09.530 --> 01:06:15.030
Mirabel. Okay, okay. Look, she's like, Mirabel

01:06:15.030 --> 01:06:17.929
is such a great character. She's just the best.

01:06:18.769 --> 01:06:20.570
It's because she looks just like, she looked

01:06:20.570 --> 01:06:22.329
like my daughter. So that's why I'm like. How

01:06:22.329 --> 01:06:24.289
can you not? Yeah, how can you not? I see the

01:06:24.289 --> 01:06:26.570
movie and I see my daughter. So yeah, Mirabel.

01:06:26.789 --> 01:06:30.230
I know I have love for Abuelita, but Mirabel.

01:06:31.449 --> 01:06:38.010
How about Bruno or Casita? Oh, my gosh. Oof.

01:06:38.530 --> 01:06:43.630
Oof. You know what? Jeez. Jeez, jeez, jeez. Oh,

01:06:43.769 --> 01:06:49.349
man. Oh, jeez. Okay. Bruno or Casita? Dang. I

01:06:49.349 --> 01:06:54.989
would say oof. Sorry, Bruno, but I say Casita.

01:06:57.519 --> 01:07:00.139
Casita's so fun. It's like such a character in

01:07:00.139 --> 01:07:03.139
and of itself. And so sweet with Mirabel too,

01:07:03.280 --> 01:07:05.780
right? Like Mirabel and Casita had this great

01:07:05.780 --> 01:07:07.820
relationship together. They just did a great

01:07:07.820 --> 01:07:10.920
job with Casita. I just feel like Casita was

01:07:10.920 --> 01:07:18.159
kind of like that spirit that kind of guided

01:07:18.159 --> 01:07:20.739
them, right? It's that little oomph that they

01:07:20.739 --> 01:07:23.239
needed. And I think that's why I resonate more

01:07:23.239 --> 01:07:26.630
with Casita because... I always felt this energy,

01:07:26.710 --> 01:07:29.170
and I don't know if it's her present, my late

01:07:29.170 --> 01:07:31.349
wife present, always guiding me. And it's so

01:07:31.349 --> 01:07:33.510
funny because you mentioned that. Sorry to interrupt

01:07:33.510 --> 01:07:37.150
that real quickly. You know, sometimes, I don't

01:07:37.150 --> 01:07:39.869
know, I'm very superstitious like that, but when

01:07:39.869 --> 01:07:44.409
I notice, like, butterflies or a hummingbird,

01:07:44.530 --> 01:07:47.989
you know, and I always be like, that's her. That's

01:07:47.989 --> 01:07:51.090
her checking in on us, see if we're okay. And

01:07:51.090 --> 01:07:52.690
sometimes it was the most random things, and

01:07:52.690 --> 01:07:54.449
sometimes when I'm, like, struggling with something.

01:07:54.860 --> 01:07:57.139
I'm like, I don't know what to do. And then she

01:07:57.139 --> 01:07:59.820
would pop up and she'd be like, I would see the

01:07:59.820 --> 01:08:04.699
white, uh, butterfly. And I'm like, I could get

01:08:04.699 --> 01:08:07.460
through this. Yeah. He has my back, you know?

01:08:07.460 --> 01:08:11.079
So that's how I feel about it. Yeah. I love that.

01:08:11.139 --> 01:08:14.360
It's perfect. It's been an absolute pleasure

01:08:14.360 --> 01:08:17.920
to visit with you. I'm so inspired by you. Um,

01:08:18.020 --> 01:08:21.479
I am inspired by your strength. by your character,

01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:24.340
by the love that you show for those around you,

01:08:24.439 --> 01:08:28.119
for how you freely share your gift, which is

01:08:28.119 --> 01:08:31.539
you and which is your daughter. It's been so

01:08:31.539 --> 01:08:34.020
lovely to visit with you. I appreciate your time.

01:08:34.960 --> 01:08:37.819
As you leave this conversation, remember that

01:08:37.819 --> 01:08:40.680
yes, the past can hurt and you can either run

01:08:40.680 --> 01:08:43.859
from it or you can learn from it. So here's to

01:08:43.859 --> 01:08:47.399
learning and finding joy in the journey. See

01:08:47.399 --> 01:08:47.899
you real soon.